• Home
  • About Us
  • Our Team
  • All-Access
  • Contact Us

Join In!

  • facebook
  • pinterest
  • twitter

Progressive Women's Leadership

Empowering. Supportive. Bold

EMPOWERING. SUPPORTIVE. BOLD.
  • Live & On-Demand Training
    • Live Training
    • On-Demand Webinars
    • Custom Training
  • Leadership E-Guides
  • Blog
    • Leadership
    • Communication
    • Community
    • Life Balance
    • Gender Partnerships
    • Women in the World
  • Free Resources
    • Free Leadership E-Guides
    • Podcasts
  • PWL All-Access
You are here: Home / Communication / Winning Negotiation Skills Women Have Had All Along

Winning Negotiation Skills Women Have Had All Along

March 17, 2016 By Lynn Varacalli Cavanaugh

Let’s Do an Experiment

Go into any search engine and type in “business negotiation” – you’ll learn a lot about negotiating contracts, getting the best deal for your company, and finding win-win solutions.

Now try “business negotiation for women.” It’s all about salary. You’ll find maybe one or two pieces about how to do your job better, but most of what you encounter will be about your salary and your career.

Women’s leadership is more than fighting for better jobs and pay – it’s also about getting even better at the job you have. This means you won’t just be adding value to your career, but negotiating better contracts and deals to add more value to your company.

Handshake

[via Flazingo Photos – Flickr]

You Have to Negotiate

In any context, in any role, you will be negotiating. A software engineer tucked in a tiny corner IT department corner who sees one other person a day will still find herself negotiating with that person. Maybe you both want the same project. Maybe you have different ideas for what’s right for the department. Maybe they eat chips too loudly.

The first step is knowing if the issue is negotiable. Most things are. When talking about the relationship between gender and negotiation, many focus on the “confidence gap” – the idea that many women either don’t know or hesitate to fight for what they deserve.

That may or may not be true for you. What is true is that as a leader you often won’t only be negotiating for yourself – you’ll be negotiating for your team, your department, and your company. What you personally want or deserve doesn’t have to enter into it; you’re fighting for what you need for your team.

So how do you win?

Negotiation 2

[via Gratisography ]

You Don’t

You both do. When thinking win-win, women have a societal advantage over their male colleagues. Men tend to be raised for competition, playing cops and robbers or tug-of-war, but – as communication expert Pamela Jett says – no one wins when playing “House.”

Many young women are raised to think about others before they think about themselves – are the people around me happy? Negotiation is often about getting what you want for your company or yourself, and many negotiation experts recommend you start by knowing what you need.

If you’re negotiating for a tool your team might use, you might gather their feedback before speaking with the vendor. You also do need to know what you’re able to spend and what you can’t live without, so you know when to walk away.

All of this is important – essential knowledge to start a negotiation.

But to end one, you need to know what they want.

Get in Their Head

For this, we want to leverage another often-touted gift of women leaders: relationship-building. When you build a rapport based on trust with the other party in any negotiation, you impede their ability to see it as a game.

You want to move it from tug-of-war to house – what can we find that will work for all of us? Build a relationship beyond the business required and learn about what really drives them. This ensures the negotiation stays focused on mutual success.

Negotiation 3

[via Monkey Mash Button – Flickr]

“Winning” a negotiation while the other side loses will damage any long-term relationship you may be able to build. Because of this, any win-lose outcomes can turn into lose-lose very fast.

Closing the Deal

Negotiations can be tense and frustrating, but if you play to your relationship-building skills and focus on communal gain, you’ll be playing an entirely different game from many of your “opponents.”

In the end, you’ll both be satisfied – and they won’t even know what hit them.

Recommended For You

  • Speak (Up) Now, Or Forever Hold Your CareerSpeak (Up) Now, Or Forever Hold Your Career
  • Leadership Style Spotlight: The Democratic LeaderLeadership Style Spotlight: The Democratic Leader
  • Creating a Thriving Culture Through Civility: 3 StepsCreating a Thriving Culture Through Civility: 3 Steps
  • Want Answers? Make Sure You’re Asking the Right QuestionsWant Answers? Make Sure You’re Asking the Right Questions
  • Feminism: Why Not ‘Egalitarianism’ or ‘Humanism’?Feminism: Why Not ‘Egalitarianism’ or ‘Humanism’?
  • Party’s over! Get your team’s momentum back, post-holidaysParty’s over! Get your team’s momentum back, post-holidays
  • Will this be what it finally takes to get more women in senior-level positions?Will this be what it finally takes to get more women in senior-level positions?
  • How will you celebrate International Women’s Day?How will you celebrate International Women’s Day?

Filed Under: Communication

Lynn Varacalli Cavanaugh

About Lynn Varacalli Cavanaugh

“An important attribute of success is to be yourself. Never hide what makes you, you." -- Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO, PepsiCo

As editor-in-chief of Woman’s Own and American Woman magazines, I have championed the personal and professional development of women for years. I started my career unsure of my own path and abilities, but I always had a natural curiosity and an interest in words and writing. When selected to launch American Woman as editor-in-chief, after a string of editorial jobs, I was thrilled—and terrified at being responsible for a brand new venture. All I could do was my best, based on my instincts and years of experience. American Woman was a success, offering me things I hadn’t achieved before—the confidence to do public speaking and a journalism award (Exceptional Merit Media award from the National Women’s Political Caucus & Radcliffe College). I hope my insights, now as an editor for Progressive Women’s Leadership, will help you on your own journey to career success.

Looking to Make a Difference?

Join thousands of other leading women who have made the commitment to change.

GET MORE INFORMATION

KEEP UP WITH THE LATEST

Updates, discounts and content from Progressive Women’s Leadership straight to your inbox. Your information will never be sold or distributed.

Negotiating Skills: How to Ask for – and Get – What You Want | Course | Starts November 2nd

Popular Posts

  • Why It Pays to Praise: 40 Ways to Say ‘Good Job’
  • Do You Look Like A Leader? 7 skills that convey executive presence
  • Inside the C-Suite: Meet Indra Nooyi, CEO, PepsiCo
  • Employees complaining about pay? How to respond – and keep morale high
  • The Truth Behind Why Most Women Don’t Work Abroad
Progressive Women's Leadership

Training

  • Live Training
  • On-Demand Webinars
  • Custom Training

Blog Topics

  • Leadership
  • Communication
  • Community
  • Life Balance
  • Gender Partnerships
  • Women in the World

Leadership E-Guides


Free Resources

  • Free Leadership E-Guides
  • Podcasts

Copyright © 2021 · Progressive Women's Leadership · Privacy Policy